Friday, July 11, 2014

Turkish Delight

I don't know how many people still come back to this blog; I find myself reading though it every month or so. Feeling particularly sentimental, I sat down to reread the last few posts...from a cafe...in Istanbul. For those of you that don't know, Dad and I have been in Turkey for nearly a month and a are
preparing to return home tomorrow.  Zoe has been in Israel.  It seemed fitting that nearly 6 months after mom's death, and after a month of saying  "I wish mom was here; she would love this," that I should write my first blog post. So here I am, sitting in a cafe, typing away on my iPhone (forgive any typos), hoping the Turks sitting next to me don't realize I'm crying.
This trip was designed to end this chapter of our lives. We miss mom as much as we did the day after her passing and will continue to, but we look forward to the next stage of our lives: Zoe to start her junior year, me to start my gap year which will end with a backpacking trip around the world, and Dad to jump back into webcasting and writing. We continue to see our beloved Pittsburgh friends and family almost every week with whom we recall our fondest MJ memories. I am amazed by how much of her I see my family and in our friends. I hope to embrace her eagerness, bravery, and compassion as I embark on my trip later this year and in my life after. I carry her with me always and when I travel on this trip I will carry and disperse some of her ashes around the world. I think she would like that. I'll sign off now because I have already drunk too much caffeinated tea and need to meet up with Dad for our last dinner in Turkey. I will sign off the way she used to.

Thursday, February 20, 2014


Today is the 20th anniversary of the day MJ and I got married. The kids and I are doing our best, despite walking around in a fog. Lots of paperwork to complete. 

We've begun planning the memorial celebration - and I use the word celebration because MJ asked me to.  Unfortunately, the memorial has reached room capacity, so we are not able to accept any more RSVP's.  A video of the event, however, will be available. Details will be posted here.

Several of our friends have asked me to set up an educational fund for our children Sam and Zoë.  If you would like to donate, please follow this link

Thank you.


Saturday, February 15, 2014


M.J. Tocci 1953-2014
Memorial Celebration will be held Sunday April 6th at 10am at CMU.

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Last days.

MJ is hanging in there. These are our last days with her....and she remains amazing. What more can you ask?

Tuesday, February 11, 2014


Yesterday MJ moved to the inpatient hospice...drifting in and out, surrounded by loving family. We don't know how long this phase will last, but here's what we do know:

she's comfortable
she's surrounded by people who love her deeply
she will be mourned by many


her Negotiation Academy will go on, in very capable hands.

We are planning a memorial around the end of March. It will take place in Pittsburgh, at a location to be determined. Details will be forthcoming on this blog.

We are collating thoughts and feelings about MJ and her life, to be bound for Sam, Zoë and whomever else is interested. If you would like to contribute, feel free to use this blog, or contact our good friend Sara Laschever who will compile a book. 

You can reach Sara at sklasch@gmail.com or by phone at 617-899-3754.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Accessorizing for hospice...

As of this week, we are officially in home hospice. Chemo is done (didn't help), IV nutrition is done (too hard on the liver) and we are settling in for some cozy time together (nice to do in this weather). The Belmont Tocci's are trekking across the storm laden Northeast to help us celebrate...and celebrate we will. Karen and Ann, two close buds from the Alameda District Attorneys Office, are also here to help with the festivities. More visitors to come.

We'll take one day at a time because.....well, because that's what there is.