Friday, July 11, 2014

Turkish Delight

I don't know how many people still come back to this blog; I find myself reading though it every month or so. Feeling particularly sentimental, I sat down to reread the last few posts...from a cafe...in Istanbul. For those of you that don't know, Dad and I have been in Turkey for nearly a month and a are
preparing to return home tomorrow.  Zoe has been in Israel.  It seemed fitting that nearly 6 months after mom's death, and after a month of saying  "I wish mom was here; she would love this," that I should write my first blog post. So here I am, sitting in a cafe, typing away on my iPhone (forgive any typos), hoping the Turks sitting next to me don't realize I'm crying.
This trip was designed to end this chapter of our lives. We miss mom as much as we did the day after her passing and will continue to, but we look forward to the next stage of our lives: Zoe to start her junior year, me to start my gap year which will end with a backpacking trip around the world, and Dad to jump back into webcasting and writing. We continue to see our beloved Pittsburgh friends and family almost every week with whom we recall our fondest MJ memories. I am amazed by how much of her I see my family and in our friends. I hope to embrace her eagerness, bravery, and compassion as I embark on my trip later this year and in my life after. I carry her with me always and when I travel on this trip I will carry and disperse some of her ashes around the world. I think she would like that. I'll sign off now because I have already drunk too much caffeinated tea and need to meet up with Dad for our last dinner in Turkey. I will sign off the way she used to.


  1. Thanks for posting, Sam. I look back here from time to time thinking of your mom and you, Zoe and your dad. Really appreciate hearing what's up with you guys. Hugs to you all.

  2. Thanks Sam. Karen

  3. How great! She would LOVE it indeed, Sam, and I look forward to reading more Turkish memories and seeing some photos of the trip here on the blog which--like your Mom--lives on and on and on!

  4. You are a brave and inspiring soul just like your mom. Travel safely and enjoy the gap year. I know that you will make amazing memories along the way!

  5. Sam,
    You are not the only one who comes back to this sight. It is a "link" to an old friend, a fond memory, a piece of your mom, my friend that sparks a smile. I reread things from Dan all the time, just to hear his voice in my head! I once described the missing to someone this way...The hole in my heart doesn't get smaller, I just hear the wind go through it a bit less. Sam, enjoy your trip around the world with as much vim and vigor as your mom would have wanted you to and keep her close to your heart at all times. She is with you every step of the way. Your strength in your travels, to take her ashes with you and spread them around this earth, is the hidden blessing in your broken heart...who knows if you would have made this trip if she would not have left you? I think of you, Zoe and your dad often and know that I love you. Be safe, have fun and enjoy. I can't wait to hear about your next chapters! I know they will be good ones! Ella

  6. Sam, you have a sensitive and loving heart and the gift of being able to share it. One of the many reasons MJ loved you so much. I too miss her and am still grieving. But we talk. I know what she would say so I just fill in her part of the conversation. It helps. Much love to all of you! Laurie (Lyons)

    I assume your "gap year" means you are not going to school this fall? I sat out one semester in college because I was soooo tired of school, working instead. It was the right decision. I hope it is a good time for you. Is Zoe home? I've been worried about her being in Israel with all the bombing.

  7. Thanks for this Sam and Bonnie reminded me to come back here. Glad I did! If during your world trip I can help in any way (friends on the route, a place in Paris ...soon to be Malta however), please do not hesitate. MJ was a connector so let me return that favor when I can. Am sure you LOVED Turkey, so can't wait to hear more! Will skype with Jonathan soon I hope! All my best!

  8. Thinking of my friend MJ today. Saw her name in my inbox and refuse to delete any of her emails. Just seeing her name lifts me up.

    Seeing Sam's post reminds me of how amazingly proud MJ has always been of her beautiful family - and of how extraordinary each of you are. In your gap year- or any year for that matter- if any of you ever find yourself in Raleigh, NC, you will always have a place to stay. Please keep us posted on your lives, stories, and updates.

    Lots of love,
    Suzan Zuljani Wasik
    Academy Class of 2013